I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
