____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
