Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
