they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She's the barista slut.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
