so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
