you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize