If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
