i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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