Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
