at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
