I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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