One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
