yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
