You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
