Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
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