Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
