I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
