i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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