When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
that may or may not have been my penis.
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