i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
