No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Non-Jews are for practice
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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