i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize