My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
