it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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