Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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