Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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