Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
