two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
