Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
