Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
MIDGETS
????
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
