Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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