I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize