maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
