I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize