speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You've changed since you got that strap on
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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