No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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