I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
