If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
