You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize