Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize