Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.