I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!