i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
