Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
