Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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