is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
