Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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