I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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