Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
