Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
