Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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