Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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