I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
no, he came in my armpit
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize