Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need moral support for this bender
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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