Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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