Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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