I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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