Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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