does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
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he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!