I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
