her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
