apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
