I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
They have beer where we have blood.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
