Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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