Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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