i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.